Laos

I rather lazily and decadently got on a plane to get from Hanoi to Luang Phabang, I'm running worryingly low on cash and I'm dreading the credit card bills, so perhaps flying wasn't the most frugal option, but saved me 24-hours on a bus. Felt very out of place on the flight, as apart from 2 Aussies, I was the youngest person on the flight by about 15 years! Getting my ready for my Saga trips.

Luang Phabang it's so beautiful. The UNESCO world heritage site is situated in the mid-north, nestled in a valley. It looks very much like a village in the south of France and there are temples everywhere. I get very uneasy talking to monks, especially when they're about 7 years old, so I ignored them (minus 50 karma points). I stayed in the guesthouse called Vilay, which was just on the outskirts of the centre of town and near the Mekong river, on Kok Sak Road...tee hee! As Luang Phabang has a lot of temples, you get woken up by the sound of beating drums from the wats at 4am, I think this is a call for everyone to bring food to donate to the massive procession of monks, I declined as I'm not getting up at 6am for anybody, (minus 75 karma points).

Passed through Vieng Vang, as according to reports it's a bit of a water-sports place. It was rammed with backpackers with heavy-duty hangovers. It was incredibly beautiful with the river snaking its way around the mountains.

I then got on a bus to Pakse, which is to the south. From there you can see Wat Phou (pronounced What Poo...this is too much!), the largest Khmer site outside Cambodia and Si Phan Don or 4000 Islands on the Cambodian border. I headed to the largest island in the Mekong called Don Khong. It is a very sleepy island and good base to explore the rest of the islands (not all 4000 of them, just the best ones). It also has a large selection of wats and lots of little villages hugging the banks of the river and cafes catering for the massive amounts of French tourists. People in Laos are really friendly, they just walk passed and say Sabai Di (pronounced zebadee) with a smile...they're not trying to sell you anything or invade your personal space, just being friendly. Laos is more laid-back then it's SE Asian counterparts, has the most spectacular sunsets and scenery. The north is really mountainous and beautiful, the south is currently at the arse-end of the dry season, so is a little dry and scorched, but still boasts rolling landscapes.

I explored the islands of Don Det and Don Khon with its disused French railway and waterfalls. I've been rather colonial on this trip, just falling short of the handlebar moustache, blunderbuss and carry around a heft supply of bells/mirrors for the natives. So sat in the little cafe on the island, which was a little wooden shack overlooking the river and ordered tea, to my delight it was a pint of the stuff, none of this fruit tea rubbish, proper builders tea with milk and sugar...apart from it wasn't sugar, it was salt. I had to surreptitiously pour it away as I was too embarrassed to admit my mistake and worried that I might get charged for another (I'm running very low on Kip and there are no cash machines on the islands).

After this little drama, I trotted off towards the waterfall, I was taking photos of derelict colonial buildings, when I arrived at this mass of water bursting its way through jagged rocks, I realised my camera was missing. I then retraced my steps back the 3km walk to see if it had by chance just fallen out of my pocket, it hadn't, but just in case I walked the 6km there and back again just to double check in the heat and humidity (just think of the tan and weight loss). I asked at a few restaurants and a tickets agent, nothing. None of them seem to understand the word police either, so I couldn't report it missing. As I was heading to the city next day, I thought I would report it then. Totally gutted, I had a few fantastic shots that I ear-marked for framing.

Then headed off to the Mekong that separated Laos from Cambodia to see the Somphamit Falls on the other side of island and go Irrawaddy dolphin spotting. The falls were immense; the Mekong river is unimaginable in size, stretches over 5 countries, starting from the southern tip of Vietnam all the way to south China, it's on average about 3km wide, now to see this expanse of water crashing through a small gorge is incredible as the water swirled and crash underneath me.

I then embarked on a mammoth journey from south Laos, near Cambodia to head to the north-west capital of Vientiane, which borders northern Thailand. I booked what I thought was a tourist bus, embarked at 9am from my guesthouse when I quickly realised this was a local bus for local people and I was the only white in the village...I don't have anymore comedy catchphrases! We passed through some remote villages, all really cute and rustic rows of wooden houses, loving built with carved doors and balconies, surrounded by mountains and fields. We passed through Savannakhet, which seemed a bit soulless to me. I befriended a monk who was sat behind me, he asked where I was headed, he was headed that way too, I asked what time we arrived, he pointed at the sky and showed me 4 digits on his left hand, he meant 4am! Oh Christ, I haven't booked anywhere and I have to wonder around Vientiane at 4am looking for guesthouse, great! About 11.30pm we passed a bus station I recognised and figured we had another 3 hours, apart from the bus driver took the opportunity to go about his business on route and then disaster struck! The bus broke down, amid the hammering and clanging, I started to panic about what would happen if the driver couldn't fix it and how would I know as no bugger speaks English, I looked around and the locals looked quite relaxed, even the ones with small babies, so I decided to chill-out...I kept dosing off and waking up panicked like a granddad at Christmas. The bus started and we ended up heading back the way we came, so maybe it just went in for an MOT. Arrived at 5.30ish and by the time I got to my guesthouse on the main strip in the city it was 6am and city was starting to wake, phew!

The city of Vientiane is so beautiful, again looks like France and more like a town then a city. Traffic is very light and the whole city is populated with massive colonial villas with wooden shutters, wrought iron fences, courtyards and wrap-around verandas. I want one!!! It has this really incredible temple, that lacks all of the ostentatiousness that the others have but there was something very regal and wise about it. The royal palace looked a bit like a stately-home-cum-precocious-hotel in England, if I was the queen, I would move! Between the hours of dusk until dawn, there is a plague of Biblical proportions of mosquito's that swarm around everywhere, very unnerving especially in the bathroom! There is nothing more satisfying then the crack of the mosquito light as it claims another victim.

Speaking of colonialism, next stop Malaysia.